This would assume I have given up on the thing I feel I'd like to change. For me, unsuccessful just means that I have not yet mastered that which I wish to accomplish. There is no failure, only quitting. Un-success of failure is the path to success if we can be diluent, patient, and persistent. 

There are several things I have taken my energy away from. Most of them that I am connecting with are associated with me wanting something for someone else that they were not ready for. Health and fitness is a great example of this. No matter how committed I am, if the person I am serving is not committed to their wellness, the goal will not be achieved. However, I can continue to stand with arms open ready to support them when they get to the place where they choose to move forward. I don't see that I have been unsuccessful with such individuals. I just see an unending process of fluctuating degrees of readiness and behavior change.

I can not really change anything but myself.  So, what I continue to change is my response. 

I must say, I am compelled to peek as far down the rabbit hole or at the man behind the curtain as I can. It seems that what I find each time is more of me and how I fit into the nature of reality. Each larger glimpse demands that I let go of what I thought reality to be, what I thought myself and others to be in order to welcome and make room for a new expansive version of both.

My adgenda. Needing to defend my point of view, fix or enroll someone in another possiblity of how to see it. This image about sums it up. When I can just "let it be" I dont look like the guy in this picture.

I begin often by breaking down and allowing the emotional release of what I thought was known. This not done all at once It is a incremental cycle that requires me to look and feel over and over again. How I thought I knew it to be is let go by looking honestly at the situation and making no delusion or candy coating how it is. I then work to connect to the best possible out come of what is being made available through the unknown that was not accessible based on my previous model of how I thought it should be. Realistic optimism I call it. My mind often forgets about the infinite possibilities being made available in the unknown and I find my self again attached to and longing for how I think it should be or was. Then, I start over again with deep breathing and feeling into the sensations arising with the thoughts I am having. I work to release the thoughts and watch the sensations. Soon enough the sensations pass as temporary storms do and I am back in realistic optimism once again. It seems that each cycle moves me closer to the radical full acceptance required to be at home in the void of the unknown.

Knowing and acting consistantly in accordance with the understanding that there is no "other".