I had an “Ah Ha” moment yesterday. I had an experience yesterday that showed me how I can hurt those I love by playing too rough. I live my life by looking for the negativity and resistance that shows up and diving into it with the intention of owning it vs. it owning me. I think this is an amazing game of self evolution and self mastery. It is often quite painful to play this game; however, I have determined that it is well worth it.

I noticed that at times I present others with an invitation to play with me. This invitation comes by me offering those I love and care for to see notice where they are owned by negativity and resistance and jump into it vs. push it away. There are many that do not share my perspective or feel there is value in going into the heart of the negativity and resistance. My invitation to play is perceived as “coaching” or “judgment” and I get this is a new way today. My idea of fun and play is not universal.

I had a tough conversation with someone I love very much. There was a lot of resistance and ego accusations going on. After the call ended I sat for 5 minutes to get some perspective. What came to mind was a time when I was playing / sparring with boxing gloves with this person and I hurt her accidentally, playing too rough. Another image of a paintball tournament when I shot her at point blank range in the masked face, again playing too rough. Another image of playing music together, again an image of turning play into something too rough.

I have a history of playing rough.

There are those that I play with that don’t get hurt by my play. However, noticing that there are those that do has made me very aware. Time to play gently.

Open my heart. Become compassion. Speak the truth within. Welcome and take responsibilty for the consequences.

Ayahuasca. Peru. 

I recently met a family that took their 21, 16 and 12 year children to Peru for an Ayahuasca journey. All members had transcendent trans-formative experiences. The 12 year old girl began to get into shadow. The shaman laid down head to head with her took her hand and notified the other 20-30 people that mission controll has relocated to the floor. Many other beautiful stories... I am going in December.